29. Today I'm addressing something that terrifies me...gaining weight.
First, let me say I know I'm a little nuts-o. I obsess about silly things all the time (i.e. turning 30) and it's not as though I don't know I'm being ridiculous but I cannot change my opinion/perspective. I have always been very weight/health conscious. Always.
I count my calories. I work out pretty consistently. With the exception of one period in my life, where I was overloaded with depression, did I lose 20 lbs and then turn around and gain 30 lbs back. That was probably the only time in my life where I wasn't a size 4/6. It is very apparent that when you are pregnant with twins you're going to gain a pound, or thirty and not remain a tiny size.
Luckily, I'm blessed to be a tall (5'11") and lean individual and I thank my parents for those genes. Body structure like height, is not something that can be changed. I have a small bone structure and gain all my weight in my center/spare tire. Last night we were at the Rangers game (yaaay for baseball season) and I was sitting next to a teeny tiny girl. A girl is the key word there, she had to be 18 or 19. She was sooo tiny, with her cute-little-size-2 body, skinny jeans and crop top and I was immediately feeling badly about myself. How stupid is that? I'm pregnant! I know I'm just going to get bigger too. Ugh. The Hubs was very sweet and complimentary and brought me back to reality.
I'm going to blame this on dumb pregnancy emotions, partially. This is an issue I battle with all the time and although I am so grateful and blessed to finally have the Nuggets on the way, it's not something I can just change my mindset on overnight.
In this first 9.5 weeks I've gained about 6 lbs and that is "right on track" according to the online trackers. I need to tinkle about every hour and occasionally I'm nauseous but other than that, I'm healthy, happy and excited.